Very interesting day today! How 'bout ya'll?

Okay, maybe it wasn't that interesting. Not that I was lying before. It was interesting to me. Just maybe not so interesting to you :')

I don't have any long, wisdom~filled, inspiring thoughts on any given topic right now as I usually do.

Oh, wait. I was just thinking about somebody else's blog.

I don't usually have those here.

But you can still *pretend that I do. If you want to.

Or you're like a big~purple~dinosaur~who~shall~remain~nameless and that's the way you roll.

Either way. It's all good to me.

Do you want to know what I saw today? You're never going to believe it. It was just sad.

A rose made out of panties.

This is not the interesting part of my day by the way. This is just the random part of it that popped into my head when I started typing.

Now I'm not completely naive. I understand that there is obviously a huuuge market for those things.

Really.

What girl wouldn't want one?

What shocked me about it, was that they were being sold at the cash register of the local convenient store.

The one where I have take my children in with me to get stuff.

My children.

Half of whom, are still in the if~you~can~get~it~in~your~grabby~little~hands~then~it~must~go~into~your~mouth phase.

It doesn't always make it to the mouth though.

On a good day.

Which today was.

But those hands are really .. grabby. And quick.

My children.

Who ask questions about everything. everything!

And not quietly either. Not even a little bit.

It's like they have a rule or something.

Must...ask...embarrassing...questions...as...loudly....as...humanly...possible.

But only with an audience.

The bigger the audience, the louder the voice.

Like they're taking a poll or something.

Ya think they're checking my answers?

Maybe I should rethink this homeschooling thing.

They might be learning too much.

Isn't there another rule out there somewhere that say mommy's always right?

Atleast when it comes to the little *Things.

If not, we should definently get one of those.

That could be useful.

Anyway, the above combination of Things, convenient store counter paraphanelia & other people within hearing range is just not a good mix.

How is it a *convenient store if I still have to go to cvs? Read the full story

Have you ever seen that movie Bruce Almighty? It's not new or anything. And I haven't seen it recently. I'm not really sure why I was even thinking about it. SO...we'll just...come back to this later. When I actually have something to say about it. Sound good? Good!

You wanna know what drives me crazy about trying to tell ya'll stuff sometimes? Words just don't look the way I say them. like, how often do you talk like this? Where every word is just clipped off neatly at the end. NO emphasis. No pronunciation. It's just ...wierd. Ooooor maybe it's just me? No. You're supposed to say NO.

I was thinking about when Thing 1 ~9yob~ was like 2. Closer to 3. But still 2. He has always been SO self reliant. He can & wants to do everything for himself. This was an extremely annoying trait to me when he was my only *baby. When I had all the time in the world ~ or atleast all the time in the day ~ to cater to his every little desire. But now, that there are 4 more not~so~self~reliant..make that 5 more, I am singin the hallelujah chorus.

I have a point. I just haven't gotten you to it yet. Hang on. I'm getting there.

All we need is just a little patience.....

I was talking to a RL friend (1 of the many 2) who I LOVE and we were talking about Thing 4. And how I have to make sure that no matter what I am always always up & at the very least, semi~coherent BEFORE he wakes up. Or Chaos will reign. & that is just *not the way I roll ;)

That made me remember when Thing 1 was like 2.

& he woke up first. And apparently... had a little time on his hands...before he came into our room all happy & excited. He made us breakfast. Just like daddy does. Cause he loves us so much. Ain't that just the sweetest thing?

You can see where this is going can't you? 2 yr old. Unsupervised. Kitchen.

Say it with me now... a recipe forrrrrrrrrrrr...... what? I can't hear you.

OmGOODNESS let me just tell you what we walked into. A lovely breakfast buffet. Uncooked 'scrambled eggs' ~the good kind~shells & all~ beautifully arranged on the front doormat. 3 bowls sat ontop of the coffee table. Full of jello. And cheerios. And milk. Yummy. A nice contemporary look ....a walkway made of cheerios & grape jelly ...led us into the kitchen.

Need I go on?

I find it oddly funny that the girls *Thing 2 & Thing 3, (Thing 5 is not old enough yet...thankfully;) who love love LOVE to be in the kitchen with me, have never experimented on thier own. And NOT because they are less adventurous. Trust me. I have had walls decorated with you~don't~even~want~to~know~what that just toss that theory right out the window.

Maybe it's a girl thing. Thou shall respect the kitchen. The kitchen shall become your friend. I really like the kitchen. Not so much, my kitchen. Just the kitchen in general, as a room.
I don't know why. I can only cook good enough to not starve my family. That's about it. OH but I make a *mean sausage gravy & biscuits. And pasta. And chicken. And porkchops. Okay, maybe I'm not as bad of a cook as I thought. I must have gotten a little better since the last time I checked. & That's always a good thing.



Read the full story

I give up.
Rockyou! is NOT rocking me right now.

I knocked out last night. I am officially sick of being sick. I don't usually get sick. I don't usually get sick to the point where I can't just ignore it & go about my day. My poor kids. They haven't learned a thing since last Monday.

Okay. To be fair to myself, and my awesome teaching abilities, they have actually still learned a few things.

Like how to make it look like you've done things..
when you haven't really done a thing.
How to feed your family every night...
without ever turning on the oven.
How to get a movie at bedtime...
by sweet talkin daddy while mommy's knocked out in a Nyquil~induced~coma.
How mommy will be SO agreeable to anything (including, but not limited to, an ultra healthy breakfast of sausage pizza~banana split pudding~& cheeze its) if you just be quiet while you're doing it.

Not exactly my plan for our curriculum. Or anything close to my "Good Mom" to do list. Read the full story

When I think about it. With a *childrens~benadryl~free~mind. As much as Amish. People. Rock. I think I'd rather just be thier neighbor.

I love the simplicity of thier lives. I love that everything they do surrounds thier faith. Ya know what I mean? They are diligent. They are focused. They totally *stand together.

And, how often have you heard about someone actively practicing Amish~ness, going on a mad~bonanza~style~killing~spree? (Did they have those on bonanza? Shoot outs? Maybe? It was a western. Wasn't it?) Don't you think they'd make awesome neighbors?

AND. As neighbors, I get the added bonus of keeping all~of~the~totally cool~stuff~that~I~really~don't~need~but~totally~take~for~granted.

Like a washer & dryer.
My truck.
*Store bought milk.
Spray & Wash.
laptops.
Aeropostle.
PBS.
*No More Tangles.
Magic Erasers.
Fruit Snacks.
Cell phones.


I know. That is a sorry list. That's why I stopped. Did ya notice I used the word totally 2'ice in one sentence? I totally did. You want to know what's even sadder?? I noticed before I even hit post. I just didn't feel like changing it.

Did I mention I've moved on to nyquil?

Last night that stuff knocked me out cold. For like 13 hours. And I was still absolutely exhausted all day today.

It's been a while. A long long time really. But if I remember correctly this is pretty much what a hangover feels like. Can I tell you how thankful I am that my body has a natural aversion to alcohol? Not so much because I think that all forms of it are the epitome of evil. More because of the mack truck it parked on top of my head. I would ask the driver to back up but I can't see him in the haze of nyquility.


For that matter. I am pretty much going to end this nonsense 'on accout of the fact' that I'm seeing 2 of you. 15 points to the 1st person who can name that movie. Or tv show. I know it came from somewhere. Okay. 30 points on account of the fact that I can't remember where it came from.


Edited to add: Could'a swore I hit post last night. Read the full story

A mystery is a reality whose existence we can perceive, but whose inner workings we cannot understand. Einstein.

That quote has absolutey nothing to do with this post by the way. I just liked it. So I stuck it up there. For no reason at all.

1. One of my truly wildest dreams....
2. is to be able to *tinkle.....
3. all by myself....
4. without being followed.....
5. interrogated....
6. or otherwise interrupted by loud crashes and bangs and clunks and 'Mommy Thing 2 is trying to climb out the window again" s. Causing me to perform a feat that would challenge even 'Mighty Mom' herself.... .....
7. stop mid~tinkle.
8. After having 5 children.
9. That's pure superhero type stuff there.
10. But I have no clue how to make that happen.
11. Or I would already be enjoying that *tinkle freedom.
12. Goal 1 ~ Find someone who knows.
13. Another of my wildest dreams
14. is to get out of the house
15. into the truck
16. and further than the entraceway
17. before hearing the words
18. "Mommy I can't hold it"
19. after I asked each & every one of them.
20. 3 times.
21. And made them try anyway.
22. Because I knew what was going to happen.
23. So you see,
24. I've covered all of my bases.
25. And again I have no clue how to make that happen.
26. Which brings me to
27. Goal 2 ~ Find someone who knows.
28. My absolute wildest dream ....
29. is to never have to do laundry
30. ever again.
31. Eve really screwed us with that whole apple thing.
32. Really.
33. If it weren't for her
34. There would be NO laundry
35. We would all be nakie
36. & not even knowing it.
37. But since it's not a perfect world
38. I'll just keep my clothes on
39. Thank you very much.
40. It's better that way.
41. Really.
42. For all of us.
43. Unfortunately I can't go back
44. to the garden
45. and warn her.
46. So I have no clue how to fix it.
47. And there we have
48. Goal 3 ~ Find someone who knows.

And there it is. Okay, so I obviously dont have very lofty aspirations. No hall of fame for me.

But it is what it is.

My wildest dreams come true in finding contentment in what is already in my path.

My biggest goals are attained by just making the most of the life I have.

Well, that & maybe learning from someone who knows! Cause I sure as heck don't ;)

But maybe some of these girlies have a clue....

Brit

Diane

Youngmommy

Heather

I'm passing the buck to ya'll. Now you've 'Gotta Get Goals'. Read the full story

Today I have

1. Washed, dried, folded & fluffed (ha ha ha do you really believe that?) about 200 loads of laundry. Really. That's not an exaggeration.
2. Wondered how such relatively CLEAN children can make thier clothes SMELL so BAD.
3. Changed roughly 30 (million) dirty diapers.
4. Wondered WHY they have to be SO much like thier daddy in *that respect. Maybe HE should be the official diaper changer.
5. Listened to Thing 1 describe ~in detail~ his latest story creation. Life in Snotland. Complete with illustrations. And maps. "Daddy lives on booger lane, where do you want to live?" As far away from there as possible.
6. Wondered if there is a way to somehow count this little project as 'school'.
7. Kissed thousands of boo boo's. Real & imagined.
8. Yet, when Thing 4 smacked his head (hard enough for me to HEAR the Whomp) and I asked him if he wanted mommy to kiss it he just said "No it's good ma" and continued on with his little 2 yr old life.,
9. Wondered when my love for my children overcame my complete disgust for all feets.
10. Watched Thing 5 make faces in the mirror.
11. Wondered how long the "playin with the pretty baby in the mirror" game would actually be entertaining.
12. 47 minutes. Yes the child looked at herself in the mirror for forty seven minutes.
13. Aaaand we watched her the entire time.
14. Yes we have no life.
15. We started out with nothing.
16. And we still have a little left.
17. Listened to Thing 1 tell the very vivid (& unfortunately true) story of how he and the biggest Thing of them all caught a dead cat while fishing the day before.
18. Apparently it was SO cool.
19. But only because it was already dead.
20. Wondered if the entourage of pets that have lived & died during thier time with our children, has emotionally scarred & completely desensitized my child.
21. Was actually thankful to find out that he cried when they caught it.
22. Felt bad for being happy about a crying child. Still a little happy to know we can skip the years of therapy.
23. Would have skipped the therapy anyway. We have daily therapy sessions on our knees.
24. Wiped snotty noses 400 times.
25. Once with my shirt.
26. Wondered if the snotland story was based on actual facts.
27. Decided to change my layout AGAIN.
28. Wondered if I really *do have multiple personalities.
29. Started to write a post about the layout changes.
30. Wondered why I was trying to rationalize blog background decisions to an inanimate object.
31. Skipped the post and ate some chocolate instead.

*** Edited ~ Thing 1 has brought it to my attention, that the reference to booger lane was incorrect. It is actually booger pit road. And his dad not only resides there, he is the king of snotville ... er snotland. Thing 1 has very *graciously forgiven me for this error. According to him I am not expected to really understand such complex ideas. Thank God for that. I was having quite a hard time wrapping my tiny little brain around such a big thought. ROFL

Thing 3: Mommy I can't remember. Why did Jesus die on the cross for our sins?

Mommy: Because He loves us SO much.

Thing 3: Oh Ya.
LONG thoughtful pause: But I really don't remember that day.