Unless your kids are asleep and you reinforce the *He Who Wakes The Baby Gets The Baby Back To Sleep* rule like we do.

In that case, just go stand in the doorway and give them a very quiet *Air Hug.

Cause I'm surely not getting any more babies back to sleep tonight.

I am dooonnneee! The SuperMommy cape ...aka Thing4's blankie... is hung up for the day.

PleaseGodLetThemAllStayAsleepNowThatI'veOpenedMyBigMouth!

Guess what's coming up ya'll???

I LOVE their disclaimer.
Note: As we all know, plans can change, but this is what we expect.

Truth in advertising.

I'm totally using that from now on so....
if you know me, you can just expect to hear that from me in the future when we make plans ;)

I'm sorry I suck like that but ily anyway.

I personally think that you should hug your kids everyday but hey... who am I to argue with a National Holiday?

I can see it now...

"Nope. Sorry. I already hugged you this year. You have 258 more days to go before your next hug."

I'm sure that would go over well.

So, here are 6 reasons to Hug Your Kids ... everyday :)


1. Because they cheerfully and gracefully suck up any punishment that you dish out...
Thing1 "But Daaaaaad. I've been mommyblogged! Since when is public humiliation considered an effective form of discipline?" Read the full story

Okay. So, Thing4 was doing something he wasn't supposed to be doing.

Because that is what he does best.

He was behind me and he thought I was distracted playing with Thing6.

*All knowing Mommy "Elijah! Stop it right now!!! Read the full story

Oh. My. Goodness.

I was on twitter, and I'm scrolling down. scrolling. scrolling. clicking. And all of a sudden a phrase catches my eye over in the umm...sidebar thingie. The one that is snot green and just stays that way no matter how many times I try to change it.

I guess that part s'not so important. But it drives me craaazzyy.

(Get it? s'not. snot. Um. Ya.)

Okay. Moving on.

I look over at the sidebar thingy. And underneath the Search bar has *trending topics. And the
link underneath said...

OMGosh! Did that say what I think it said?

I don't even know how to tell you what it said.

It was that bad.


Speaking of bad. Do you think it's bad that before I can write anything I have to *clean my blog.

Yep. I just scroll up and down looking for things I don't like so I can delete them.

Some ... ahem Brit... might call that ocd.

Others ... me!!!... might disagree.

Okay, so I like things a little ... neat. And if that neatness extends to mayo on a piece of bread then, so be it!

Alright it's sick. I cannot, cannot make a messy sandwich.

I like things to be neat. Not that they ever are. Well, they are, but only for about 2.5 seconds, which, I just happen to know is Thing4's record for completely trashing a *just scrubbed bathroom. Or a clean pair of pajamas.

Tonight he was skateboarding inside the house. Inside! The kids were all laying on the couch watching DCMovie so I went to "the Garage" (read: man!cave) to talk to theBiggestThingofThemAll and within 7 minutes Thing3 was outside to let us know that Thing4 was not only skateboarding through the house, but he had built some kind of ramp involving chairs & jumpropes. Seven minutes.

Maybe he's going to be a world famous engineer or something.

According to him he's going to be a *Fire Fighter.

Don't mistakenly assume ...as I did...that that means he's actually going to put out fires though.

No.

He's just going drive around in the Fire Truck with the siren on all day.

Because that's a *sweet ride.

And he can go fast.

And because the other cars move out of the way for the Fire Truck.

And that's awesome.

Ya think he spends too much time in the man!cave? Read the full story

So, I had a pretty good day today. You?

I've been having a great big AHA moment.

Those are always good ;)

It's like there were all of these things just dumped out on the floor of my mind ... just there.... kinda like a bunch of Legos that have been knocked over and abandoned ... probably by Thing6... for a brighter, shinier new toy.

All of a sudden they've become this intricate thing like... well...like the things you can build with Legos if you can read the instructions. Which I can...not do apparently.

I know. Just follow the directions! It's not rocket science.

Thing 1 can.

Aaaand I'm feelin smarter and smarter all the time.

There should be a list of what to REALLY expect when you're expecting.

#1 Atleast 1 of your children will be smarter than you. And know it.

but you can blame that on ...

#2 Losing brain cells is a part of labor.
One minute they're there and the next...they're just gone.

Fooorrreeevvveeerrr.

In my mind this is said in the voice of the little kid from The Sandlot.

Ever seen that movie? Oh come on you're killin me Smalls!

I would look up a clip for you but I know how much you like to research things for yourself.

Ok I have absolutely nowhere to go after that so...

I DENIED Thing4 the mommykisswhichmakeseverything,everythingbetter today.

Ya. Mean mommy.

He was playing outside and got hurt and came in to get some *feel better so I hugged him and asked him what happened.

He looked at me in all teary eyed seriousness and said "Mommy can you kiss my butt cause I hurt it when I fell off my skateboard."

#3 Always Always Always ask where it hurts before you offer to kiss it.


Read the full story

Have you ever seen Curious George? Or read the books? About the little monkey who gets into ALL KINDS of trouble? It comes on PBS. Thing 5 LOVES Curious George.

Once I joked to theBiggestThingofThemAll that maybe the kids shouldn't watch it because it might give them ideas. I mean, really, you should see the things this cute little monkey manages to get into.

But it was just a joke.

Now, I'm seriously thinkin of adding Curious George to the ever-growing list of *Things we just don't watch* including but not limited to Sponge Bob which, after watching my children spent the whole day *bleeping half of their sentences, and mooning each other. Thankfully no one else was around to witness that little bit of amusingness. (It is a word. Really!)

Yesterday, Thing4 pulled a totally Curious-George-worthy stunt that had me thisclosetoblowinganartery.

TheBiggestThingofThemAll was leaving (not 4 ever, he was coming back :) So I do a head count as he is leaving, clean up Thing6 from lunch and put him down for a nap (took all of 5 minutes) Apparently theBiggestThingofThemAll had to get some stuff from the garage to put in the truck so he didn't leave right away.

A few nimutes later he leaves, Thing6 is down for a nap and I do another headcount and Thing4 is NOWHERE to be found. Okay. Panic, just a little bit. Call theBiggestThingofThemAll. Keep looking. Check all of the hiding spots. No Thing4. Panic, a little bit more. But Thing4 is really really good at hiding. Never gets caught in hide and seek. Call theBiggestThingofThemAll again. Keep looking. Check outside. No Thing4. Ask random neighborhood teenager. Nooooo Thing4. Then Thing 3 says, "Maybe he ran away because he's tired of going in timeout today." Hmmmm.....alot more panic now. Like completely freaking out kind of panic.

Finally theBiggestThingofThemAll calls to let me know that he found Thing4. In the back of the truck. "Did I surprise ya dad?" Ummm ya. Definently surprised. Especially considering that this child, who, on any other day, CANNOT keep still for 30 seconds, managed to keep still and quiet for a whole 30 minutes until his dad stopped the truck and opened the back door *found the surprise.

His response after I grabbed him and told him (through hysterical tears of course) that "I-was-so-worried-I looked-everywhere-and-couldn't-find-you-don't-EVER-do-that-again!

"Did ya look on the roof?"

I just know that somehow this little episode puts me in the running for worst-mother-EVER.

Read the full story

Today I have

1. Washed, dried, folded & fluffed (ha ha ha do you really believe that?) about 200 loads of laundry. Really. That's not an exaggeration.
2. Wondered how such relatively CLEAN children can make thier clothes SMELL so BAD.
3. Changed roughly 30 (million) dirty diapers.
4. Wondered WHY they have to be SO much like thier daddy in *that respect. Maybe HE should be the official diaper changer.
5. Listened to Thing 1 describe ~in detail~ his latest story creation. Life in Snotland. Complete with illustrations. And maps. "Daddy lives on booger lane, where do you want to live?" As far away from there as possible.
6. Wondered if there is a way to somehow count this little project as 'school'.
7. Kissed thousands of boo boo's. Real & imagined.
8. Yet, when Thing 4 smacked his head (hard enough for me to HEAR the Whomp) and I asked him if he wanted mommy to kiss it he just said "No it's good ma" and continued on with his little 2 yr old life.,
9. Wondered when my love for my children overcame my complete disgust for all feets.
10. Watched Thing 5 make faces in the mirror.
11. Wondered how long the "playin with the pretty baby in the mirror" game would actually be entertaining.
12. 47 minutes. Yes the child looked at herself in the mirror for forty seven minutes.
13. Aaaand we watched her the entire time.
14. Yes we have no life.
15. We started out with nothing.
16. And we still have a little left.
17. Listened to Thing 1 tell the very vivid (& unfortunately true) story of how he and the biggest Thing of them all caught a dead cat while fishing the day before.
18. Apparently it was SO cool.
19. But only because it was already dead.
20. Wondered if the entourage of pets that have lived & died during thier time with our children, has emotionally scarred & completely desensitized my child.
21. Was actually thankful to find out that he cried when they caught it.
22. Felt bad for being happy about a crying child. Still a little happy to know we can skip the years of therapy.
23. Would have skipped the therapy anyway. We have daily therapy sessions on our knees.
24. Wiped snotty noses 400 times.
25. Once with my shirt.
26. Wondered if the snotland story was based on actual facts.
27. Decided to change my layout AGAIN.
28. Wondered if I really *do have multiple personalities.
29. Started to write a post about the layout changes.
30. Wondered why I was trying to rationalize blog background decisions to an inanimate object.
31. Skipped the post and ate some chocolate instead.

*** Edited ~ Thing 1 has brought it to my attention, that the reference to booger lane was incorrect. It is actually booger pit road. And his dad not only resides there, he is the king of snotville ... er snotland. Thing 1 has very *graciously forgiven me for this error. According to him I am not expected to really understand such complex ideas. Thank God for that. I was having quite a hard time wrapping my tiny little brain around such a big thought. ROFL

Read the full story

Ok so *Elijah Jaye Moose* (Thing4/ 2yob) is going through this "I know how to take my diaper off and will do it whenever I want now" phase. I CANNOT keep up with the flinging of the diapers. He has even learned how to take his pants off to get to the unwanted diaper.

We are working on potty training, but I'm not so sure that it's a sign of potty training readiness. I think he likes to take it off simply because he can! AND he innately knows exactly what to do to make mommy INSANE. Most of the time it is not even wet, although once he left a *surprise* in it (YUCK YUCK and more YUCK)

This child ~ there is absolutely NO ONE that i could love more, or who possibly make me any CRAZIER than he can. But I just can't resist his cute little face!

Read the full story