• Yesterday was the.day.from.HELL.
• I am POSITIVE that somehow, at some time ... atleast once during the day I absolutely earned the Worst.Mother.EVER! award.
• Not exactly what I was aiming for.
• I'm totally going to blame theBiggestThingOfThemAll. Cause it all started with this conversation the night before....

Me: "Okay. But I was going to say that I want to clean..."

theBiggestThingofThemAll: "Clean everything so I can *blah blah blah"

• SO what's the best way to get something CLEAN????
• Move EVERYTHING out of your way!
• Aaaaand while you've already got everything torn apart ya might as well just rearrange the Entire room.
• And if you're switching that room, why not just do 2 or 3 or 4 more????
• While I was busy doing that... the Things were busy doing All.Kinds.Of.Stuff.
• Thing1 put a hole in his thumb.
• Thing2 hit Thing 3 in the mouth with a hammer.
• A hammer!!!
• She was trying to *fix her chair and apparently Thing3 thought it would be a good idea to stand BEHIND her.
• While she swung.a.hammer.
• You can imagine all the bloodshed for yourself.
• ALSO .. apparently... everything I say to Thing2 is considered (by her) to be *optional suggestions as opposed to the adamantinstructionthatyouMUSTobey that I consider it to be.
• I really wanted to hit her.
• I didn't.
• I wouldn't.
• I've never hit anyone in my entire life and I'm certainly NOT going to start with an 8yo.
• But I really really wanted to.
• What kind of mother wants to hit their kid????
• It is IMPOSSIBLE to walk away when you are a sahm of 6.
• Okay, I'm exaggerating a little bit.
• It's not impossible to walk away... but it is completely impossible to walk away ALONE!
• Thing6 aka *theDiaperAnnihilator found the way out of his diaper.
• It had some stuff in it.
• He decided to plaaaaaay with it. He decorated. All.over.his.crib.
• While I'm giving him a bath Thing5 comes in to *potty.
• For some strange reason she has to take off every article of clothing she has on to do this.
• She does what she has to do and instead of immediately regarbing she takes off running...
• Out the door....
• So if you happened to be driving in Tampa yesterday and you saw a soaking wet crazy woman carrying a half naked baby in a towel chasing a totally naked 3 yo around the yard....
• Ya.
• That would have been me.
• That's not even half of what went on... but I'm getting Emotionally.Exhausted. just thinking about it.
• On another note...
• I am SO getting a Toy Fairy.
• When theBiggestThingofThemAll brings something home and says "Look baby I brought you something" what he really means is " Look now ...soIcangetmybrowniepoints ...cause it's *suppos'ta be yours but I'm going to take it and there is a very high probability that you will never ever see it again. "
• Or something very very close to that anyway.
• We had to put a PadLock on the fridge.
• You think I'm joking.... but I am SO serious.
• Access Denied!
• Aaaaand... guess who still has to put aaalllllllll that laundry away???

I'm gonna go get on that. And you, well, you can go get your random on.

Keely's Random is *SuperFly.

Unless your kids are asleep and you reinforce the *He Who Wakes The Baby Gets The Baby Back To Sleep* rule like we do.

In that case, just go stand in the doorway and give them a very quiet *Air Hug.

Cause I'm surely not getting any more babies back to sleep tonight.

I am dooonnneee! The SuperMommy cape ...aka Thing4's blankie... is hung up for the day.

PleaseGodLetThemAllStayAsleepNowThatI'veOpenedMyBigMouth!

Guess what's coming up ya'll???

2. Because they know how to cover their bases...
Thing 2 "And Dear Lord please forgive us for all of the things we did and said that were not good today, and please forgive us for all of the bad things that we are about to do."

3. Because they have such an extraordinary sense of smell...
Thing3 "This flower smells like...like....ummmm..." long, thoughtful pause ...
Mommy "...a flower?"
Thing3 "Nooooo." ...deep sniff of aforementioned flower ... It smells like A Beautiful Day!"

4. Because if you can't do it, they will...
Thing4 "It's okay Ma... don't be a scaredy cat... I got this"

5. Because they are unwavering in thier convictions....
Thing5 "Well. You're not the boss of meeee."
Mommy "Yes I most certainly am the boss of You. I am The Mommy! The Mommy is always the boss.
Thing5 "Well. You aaarrreee the boss of meeee."

6. Because they are just SO gosh darn huggable!

Now, that just makes me wanna go and find some slobbery baby kisses. Because those are my favorite ;)

So... go hug Your kids!

And have A Beautiful Day.

And if you're very very lucky ... maybe You can find some slobbery baby kisses too ;)

Have you ever seen that movie Bruce Almighty? It's not new or anything. And I haven't seen it recently. I'm not really sure why I was even thinking about it. SO...we'll just...come back to this later. When I actually have something to say about it. Sound good? Good!

You wanna know what drives me crazy about trying to tell ya'll stuff sometimes? Words just don't look the way I say them. like, how often do you talk like this? Where every word is just clipped off neatly at the end. NO emphasis. No pronunciation. It's just ...wierd. Ooooor maybe it's just me? No. You're supposed to say NO.

I was thinking about when Thing 1 ~9yob~ was like 2. Closer to 3. But still 2. He has always been SO self reliant. He can & wants to do everything for himself. This was an extremely annoying trait to me when he was my only *baby. When I had all the time in the world ~ or atleast all the time in the day ~ to cater to his every little desire. But now, that there are 4 more not~so~self~reliant..make that 5 more, I am singin the hallelujah chorus.

I have a point. I just haven't gotten you to it yet. Hang on. I'm getting there.

All we need is just a little patience.....

I was talking to a RL friend (1 of the many 2) who I LOVE and we were talking about Thing 4. And how I have to make sure that no matter what I am always always up & at the very least, semi~coherent BEFORE he wakes up. Or Chaos will reign. & that is just *not the way I roll ;)

That made me remember when Thing 1 was like 2.

& he woke up first. And apparently... had a little time on his hands...before he came into our room all happy & excited. He made us breakfast. Just like daddy does. Cause he loves us so much. Ain't that just the sweetest thing?

You can see where this is going can't you? 2 yr old. Unsupervised. Kitchen.

Say it with me now... a recipe forrrrrrrrrrrr...... what? I can't hear you.

OmGOODNESS let me just tell you what we walked into. A lovely breakfast buffet. Uncooked 'scrambled eggs' ~the good kind~shells & all~ beautifully arranged on the front doormat. 3 bowls sat ontop of the coffee table. Full of jello. And cheerios. And milk. Yummy. A nice contemporary look ....a walkway made of cheerios & grape jelly ...led us into the kitchen.

Need I go on?

I find it oddly funny that the girls *Thing 2 & Thing 3, (Thing 5 is not old enough yet...thankfully;) who love love LOVE to be in the kitchen with me, have never experimented on thier own. And NOT because they are less adventurous. Trust me. I have had walls decorated with you~don't~even~want~to~know~what that just toss that theory right out the window.

Maybe it's a girl thing. Thou shall respect the kitchen. The kitchen shall become your friend. I really like the kitchen. Not so much, my kitchen. Just the kitchen in general, as a room.
I don't know why. I can only cook good enough to not starve my family. That's about it. OH but I make a *mean sausage gravy & biscuits. And pasta. And chicken. And porkchops. Okay, maybe I'm not as bad of a cook as I thought. I must have gotten a little better since the last time I checked. & That's always a good thing.



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Would you think me a horrible mother if I told you that the REAL reason I cover my face when my children are saying thier prayers is because I don't want them to see me laughing? This one child in particular cracks me up. I know, it's just plain wrong. You're going to laugh too. Then we'll both be wrong.


Thing 2(6yog): "And Dear Lord please forgive us for all of the things we did and said that were not good today, and please forgive us for all of the bad things that we are about to do."
(Does this mean she's planning in advance?)

Thing 2 " Please God make me beautiful in You because I so LOVE being pretty."

Thing 2 "Jesus please bless my aunt Tina and help her not to be sad and help her to find a new racecar boyfriend who makes her happy. And please give her lots of princess dresses, *and me too, because pretty dresses make everyone SO happy. Especially meee."
(But not so much her Aunt Tina ~ who would rather take 6 kids under 10 to chuckee cheese by herself than wear a 'pretty princess dress. Have you ever tried to do that? Definently NOT something I would recommend. Ever. As in..to infinity and beyond NEVER. Just so you know how strongly I feel about this issue. Did I mention the word never yet? Okay, had to make sure.)

My sister doesn't have a 'racecar' boyfriend. In case the suspense is killing you. He drives an RX7. I think. I can't really remember. I know that it's yellow. ish. Or maybe gold. Although.. he does resemble Jeff Gordon. But he's good people so we try to overlook that. He is NOT a Gordon fan. That helps. SHE is. I guess that helps too. Well, it helps him anyway.

I think it's awesome that my children are just themselves before God. No pretenses. Just what's in thier true heart. The honesty in it just makes it that much sweeter. But I bet He's laughin too:) Read the full story