Would you think me a horrible mother if I told you that the REAL reason I cover my face when my children are saying thier prayers is because I don't want them to see me laughing? This one child in particular cracks me up. I know, it's just plain wrong. You're going to laugh too. Then we'll both be wrong.


Thing 2(6yog): "And Dear Lord please forgive us for all of the things we did and said that were not good today, and please forgive us for all of the bad things that we are about to do."
(Does this mean she's planning in advance?)

Thing 2 " Please God make me beautiful in You because I so LOVE being pretty."

Thing 2 "Jesus please bless my aunt Tina and help her not to be sad and help her to find a new racecar boyfriend who makes her happy. And please give her lots of princess dresses, *and me too, because pretty dresses make everyone SO happy. Especially meee."
(But not so much her Aunt Tina ~ who would rather take 6 kids under 10 to chuckee cheese by herself than wear a 'pretty princess dress. Have you ever tried to do that? Definently NOT something I would recommend. Ever. As in..to infinity and beyond NEVER. Just so you know how strongly I feel about this issue. Did I mention the word never yet? Okay, had to make sure.)

My sister doesn't have a 'racecar' boyfriend. In case the suspense is killing you. He drives an RX7. I think. I can't really remember. I know that it's yellow. ish. Or maybe gold. Although.. he does resemble Jeff Gordon. But he's good people so we try to overlook that. He is NOT a Gordon fan. That helps. SHE is. I guess that helps too. Well, it helps him anyway.

I think it's awesome that my children are just themselves before God. No pretenses. Just what's in thier true heart. The honesty in it just makes it that much sweeter. But I bet He's laughin too:) Read the full story

I think I've become 'that mom'. No, not that mom, the other one. You know, the mom whose mind has completely evaporated to the point that she can't remember her child's name until she gets to it as she goes down the list. I've caught myself doing that SO many times lately.

One of my~little~blessings in disguise, will do something they aren't supposed to do (did I mention that they're not perfect either?) and I will start to call 'em on it, and then I caaaalllll the wrong name. That's when the list starts. And by the time I get it right, I am either (a.) feeling SO guilty (& more stupid than I care to admit) for not knowing my own child's name that I can't bring myself to continue or (b.) walking out of the room looking stern but really trying not to totally lose it because they cannot contain the amusement that they get from watching mommy act insane. It's a very effective discipline method, if you haven't guessed. 

I think I've come up with a solution....

....I am going to give them all the same name. That way, I can never get it wrong. And more importantly, I will look sane.

I know how important it is for children to have thier own individual identities. So, I'll give them different middle names. 

On second thought, maybe I will call them out by name. Thing 1 and Thing 2, Thing 3 and Thing 4, Thing 5 and 
Thing 6... :
D Read the full story

Do you remember Romper Room? Sometimes it seems as if I'm in an episode of, like, Romper Room Gone Wild or something. Do you ever feel like that? Maybe it's just me.

Sometimes I wonder what it would be like if we had that Average~2.5 kids~2 income~house in the suburbs with a picket fence and a dog that doesn't... relieve itself on the hardwood floors~American Dream kind of life.

Would I have *perfect hair? And manicured nails? Oooohhhh, I would definently pay someone ELSE to spray all of that SHOUT on the stains in the laundry. (SHOUT really works ya know. Just in case you were wondering. That is why you come here.. isn't it? For all of the great laundry tips:)

Sometimes, I use an entire bottle of SHOUT on 1 load of laundry. Fascinating right? I know, that's why I'm telling you. You don't have to thank me.

We don't, by the way. Have that life that is. Not even a little bit on a good day. Double the kids. Split the income in half. The dog, well... we gave up on pets when a~certain~little~girl~who~was~3 (but is no longer) decided to try and help her cute little pet chickie escape from the cage. According to her, little chickie stuck his head out of the bars and asked her to help him out. By his head unfortunately. It wasn't pretty. Yes, we were all scarred, but we try not to think about it. Don't worry. After 3 yrs of therapy we can now eat chicken again.

My hair... is not quite perfect. Okay it's nowhere near perfect, but if it makes you feel better to think that it might be close, then go right ahead! It surely does make me feel better:) But I'll be honest and admit that my most used hair accessories include a scrunchee (the fact that if a scrunchee isn't available a pencil can also be used is just more proof that I keep up with all of the latest fashions from Vogue. ) OH and there's this AWESOME hair product I use. If you've never tried it then you're definently missing out. It's called D.R.O.O.L. Made from pure baby slobber. Great stuff. Really.

But then I remember that in order to have that life I would have to give up 2.5 of my children. How could I make my child go through life with only half of thier body? And which half would I choose? The right, the left. The top, the bottom.

The truth is, as CRAAAZZYYYY as they make me sometimes, I couldn't really give any of them up. Even for that oh~so~wanted laundry person.

* Disclaimer ~ the following post may contain "parent only" language & content. If you think the phrase "You will not believe what was in his poop" might offend you or your stomach, ya might want to just skip down to the next post :)

1 of our 5 children ~ who I will not name ~ due to the fact that they can read~and sometimes look over my shoulder when I am on the pc~and might see this post and get VERY mad at me~has a blanket (we aren't mean, they all have blankets). But this is a little blanket. It's always been little. But it WAS bigger when we first bought it. We have noticed signifigant shrinkage in the blanket over time. *Unnamed child, has slowly been eating this blanket for YEARS. Until recently, I didn't realize that the blanket was actually being eaten. I just thought the child was chewing on the strings and pulling them out. And I am always saying "don't put that in your mouth, that's gross." Apparently, it's WAYYYY grosser than I thought.

I came home from my favorite place to go and my husband told me that *unnamed child had a stomach ache after I left, but was fine now. Then proceeded to crack up and give me the details. You will not believe what was in his poop! A string. Yes you read right. A string. Apparently a LOOOONG string. I said a prayer of Thanks. And sang the Hallelujah chorus. I'm so glad I was gone for that. I don't think we'll be serving blanket for dinner anymore. Is it just my children who are this wierd? Do your kids have strange blanket~eating fetishes? Should I feed them more maybe? Read the full story

I have a confession to make. To walk in my house, you would think that I'm a pretty clean and organized mom. That's because I'm a FIRM BELIEVER in surface cleaning (shhh don't tell my mother!) If the bathrooms are clean, the counters and tabletops are clear and the floor is picked up, it's clean enough for me! I threw my perfectionism out the window about 4 sets of dirty hands and feet ago. And I can live happily with that.

But the laundry...the BANE of my very existence...that's a completely different story. If you looked into my laundry closet you would probably NEVER speak to me again. I have this theory about laundry trying to take over and rule the world. You should hear it sometime. Or maybe not.

I am SO waiting for some wonderful genius woman to invent *disposable clothes. That would be the most wonderful thing EVER.

We have ALOT of laundry, as you can probably imagine. I think the baby is actually the cleanest little person in our house. How sad is that? Or maybe it's my oldest son. This boy, will take a shower and try to put on the SAME DIRTY BOXERS that he just took off! I have actually had to start doing a daily boxer check on a 9 yr old! What is UP with THAT??

My girlies ~ the self proclaimed princesses ~ they LOVE to wear pretty dresses. I don't know where this fascination came from. It's a lucky day for my husband if he comes home to find me in jeans instead of pajamas. Fear not, he is very aware how HOT pajamas are. You don't need to tell him. Truly. He knows. I love pajamas. I will seriously take a shower only to put on MORE PAJAMAS. But they insist on wearing 'princessy (YA that's a word 'cause i just made it a word) clothes and if they get even one teeeeeny tiiiiny spot on it they MUST immediatly be regarbed in proper princess wear.

My toddler *the moose, is just a MESS. He somehow manages to get dirty no matter WHAT we are doing. Every Sunday I have to explain to the girls in Tiny Tots at churchthat YES he WAS clean when we put him in the truck and NO I have no clue HOW he got so filthy in the carseat. This child here, he is the only child I know who can actually get dirty IN THE BATH TUB. So, when I can manage to keep clothes on him, they are only clean for roughly...2 minutes. Really. I'm not exaggerating. Not even a little bit.

But I digress. I'm just procrastinating so that you won't see what a terrible 'sahm' i am.
I don't have alot of time to mess with the laundry. Ok really, that's just a different way to say that I procrastinate when it comes to laundry too. I wait and wait and let it pile and pile until it literally eyeballs me from the closet, which by this time is open because the laundry is finding it's way out the door, and practically BEGGING me to just WASH IT! And finally I will. And that's when the CLEAN laundry takes over my bedroom. And Bathroom. And wherever else it will fit.

But hey, the floor is clean enough to eat off of, which is a good thing because Chloee oee oee has a particular fondness for hiding cheerios under the furniture...just in case she gets hungry later. Read the full story

Ok so *Elijah Jaye Moose* (Thing4/ 2yob) is going through this "I know how to take my diaper off and will do it whenever I want now" phase. I CANNOT keep up with the flinging of the diapers. He has even learned how to take his pants off to get to the unwanted diaper.

We are working on potty training, but I'm not so sure that it's a sign of potty training readiness. I think he likes to take it off simply because he can! AND he innately knows exactly what to do to make mommy INSANE. Most of the time it is not even wet, although once he left a *surprise* in it (YUCK YUCK and more YUCK)

This child ~ there is absolutely NO ONE that i could love more, or who possibly make me any CRAZIER than he can. But I just can't resist his cute little face!