As in, Things I Wish I Could Say To You But Can't and Probably Never Will...

Did you know that the saying "balls to the wall" has nothing at ALL to do with testicles? It is totally a flying reference that implies giving it all you've got, so feel free to say it in church!

One of the speakers at the Women of Faith conference this year was Lisa Welchel. I don't know if you remember her or not but once upon a time she played Blaire on The Facts of Life.

To be completely honest with you, I wasn't really looking forward to hearing her speak. I don't know why. I have absolutely nothing against the woman.

Ironically enough, she was the one that God used to speak to me the most.

Ya. He's pretty funny that way :)

• School started Tuesday:)
• Thing4 started Kindergarten.
• I've been reading all of these posts about kids starting kindergarten.
• So many mom's are sad or anxious.
• Ya. You won't find any of that here.
• I've been doing the happy dance all.week.long.
• This week has been the most awesomely amazing week.
• Tuesday was the Best.Day.EVERful!
• I would have run outside yelling that, as some people may have pictured me doing...
• But I figured the neighbors have seen more than enough of me lately already. You'reWelcomeVeryMuch!
  
• So I restrained myself ;)
  
• My Martha Brain thrives on anything that requires Planning, Scheduling, Organizing and LISTS!
  
• She has totally taken over so I am In.The.Zone
• It only took me like 30/45 minutes to clean the.entire.house.
  
• I had time to do *prek with Thing5.
  
• She practiced the letter A, shapes and colors.
• She also poured half a bottle of BedHead conditioner down the TIOLET!
  
• And.. ummm... gave herself a haircut... with the clippers... while I was making breakfast...
• Guess who left those down??? And PLUGGED IN!
• I got to dance around the family room with Thing6.
• We were totally rockin out to Ren & Stimpy.
• I have decided to stop fighting Martha and just embrace the sickness.

• I LOVE planning.
• Routines excite me.
• Schedules get me all hot and bothered.
• I won't even tell you what Lists do to me...
• Yes! I admit it! Cleaning turns me on!
  
• I am a MUCH better mom during the school year.
  
• Whatever.
• I am an organizer to the point of rampant OCDism.
• And I am Okay with that.
• Thing1 is homeschooling.
  
• The 6th grade curriculum was apparently not appealing enough....
• And the thought of getting naked in a locker room full of other people just sealed the deal for him.
• SO on top of the required curriculum... he is adding a course in media/graphic design and one of his (chosen) projects is to create a Graphic Novel.
  
• The Ultimate.Kid.Alliance vs Supermommy.
  
• MMMhmmmm.
  
• Do you think I should be worried?
• Because... I'm a little worried.
• What if they do this in real life? And win???

• So last week was a pretty interesting week.
  
• Not exactly the Most.Hellacious.Day.EVER! type of week, but still... definitely not boring.
  
• Not that we actually have very many boring days around here to begin with.
• The more I think about it... boring could be good for a little while.
• Just so you know...
• I am NOT writing anything else about PEE or URINE or POTTY TRAINING EVER again!
• For 2 reasons.

1. It seems to be prophetic.

• Thing5 busted her head open. As in huge hole in her forehead with LOTS of blood loss and screaming and gnashing of teeth.
• 4 stitches worth of busting her head open actually.
• She hit it on the edge of a concrete bench.
  
• Out of 6 kids she's the first to have to be rushed to the E.R.
• So I'm doing pretty darn good here!
  
• And she was AMAZING.
• Beyond amazing.
  
• The.MOST.Amazing.Child.EVER!
• When they came in to do the stitches the guy wanted to *papoose her. As in wrap her up in a sheet like a mummy so she couldn't move.
  
• WTH??
• The guy was like "Yeah it just makes it easier to keep them still. We've found that most kids fight us when it comes time to do stitches.
• Umm... YA! I'm sure the whole mummy sheet thing has NOTHING to do with that.
• So I was adamant about NO turning my sweet little 3yo into a mummy. And we told her she had to lay down and be really really still so the doctor could put the *string band aids in her head so it can heal.
  
• She says "It's okay. God is already healing it."
• And I told her that God sent the doctors to give her band aids"
• She laid perfectly still the whole.entire.time.
• She didn't move.
• She didn't cry.
• She didn't even whimper.
• It's like she just went inside herself until it was all over.
• She was absolute awesomeness.
• So I gave her my peanut M&M's.

• I think Thing2 is showing Doctor Potential.
  

• I read something about the more colorful your food is the better it’s supposed to be for you. I think I might even have read it on one of the rtt's from last week.

• So I'm wondering if that's real.
  

• And if it includes M&M's.
  

• Because if it is true then they should definitely count.
  

• They are VERY colorful ;)

• Apparently I am now in the *business of flashing.
  
• Construction crews no less.
• I had a lil help from Thing6.

I was outside talking to a neighbor holding a WIGGLY Thing6. Who decided to pull my shirt down. And you could see.. well..things that are usually NOT seen... And to top it all off 3 construction trucks happened to be rolling by... death by mortification....

• I know. Last week was Naked Random Thoughts.
• And I said I was definitely NOT getting naked.
  
• I guess I just felt left out....

I've been having some sucky wife moments lately.

Quite a few of them.

Okay. ALOT of them actually.

I need to change some things. Mostly some attitudes that I have towards my husband based on different things in our past.

Things I had supposedly LET GO of but obviously not since I've also still been holding them against him and sometimes even throwing them up in his face.

Not so much out loud but definitely in my head.

Last night i was thinking about marriage and the different roles and responsibilities we each have in our marriage.

Adam's *punishment in the whole Fall.Of.Man. incident was to have to LABOR, which is something my husband has struggled with for a looong time. Not so much that he minda working, just that he wanted to do what HE wanted to do, HIS way, which was not so much conducive to... having a stable income.

Eve's punishment was, and I quote "with pain you will give birth to children. Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you."

So I sucked up the pain pretty gracefully.

The desire came easily and naturally. At one time in a completely UNHEALTHY way where my desperation for my husband ranked MUCH higher than my desperation for my CREATOR at which point I was taught a lesson about that in such a way that my entire life completely imploded, exploded and pretty much fell apart before my very eyes. I was crushed and shattered and ...broken. Very very broken. (Thankfully I was also picked up and pieced back together and made much much stronger.) But that experience was SO extreme that I will NEVER forget it and make that mistake again.

Tha last part though...

He will RULE OVER YOU.

Well... I just kinda skipped it

Because that is a tough.pill.to.swallow. Atleast for me.

I like the part that says "Understand and support your husband in ways that show your support for Christ" better because that makes it much easier to justify MY opinions. As in "Well, I don't think Christ would support that SO I don't have to SUBMIT.

Because YUCK! I don't like that word and all that it implies. I submit in theory but NOT in my Spirit and my Heart and my Mind where it actually counts. I submit PHYSICALLY but only when I feel like it's something I should submit to or if I think he deserves it. And even then it's more likely than not that I'm doing it with the attitude of "I'm only doing this because I WANT to and YOU should feel SO thankful to have a wife who submits.

YAY! Lucky him!!!

Not a whole lot of submission for a *submissive wife is it??? Kinda defeats the whole purpose.

When I saw this study on an awesomely inspiring friends blog a while back part of me was like "OH! I need this!!!!" and another part (the more dominant one at the time) was like "WHAT.EV.ER."

Now I've come back to it AGAIN! Because I'm slow that way and didn't take the hint the first time.

And I'm just gonna DO IT!

So Pray For Me!

Pray very very hard ;) Read the full story

• So Keely's on vacation and has a *guest poster for rtt this week. And one of her random thoughts was "I’ve been watching Sex and the City reruns lately since there’s nothing else on. I find it fascinating that (naked or clothed) Sarah Jessica Parker can go from being butt ugly to insanely hot in a split second. It’s like a hidden super power and I want it."
• And I thought "That is SO true! & I want it too!!!"
• That made me laugh SO hard I almost peed in my pants. Thank God for SuperMommyStopMidTinklePowers or we might have had a problem.
  
• Okay. I would have had a problem. But it's nice to share....
• This is probably the kind of stuff that makes my blog come up when people search for things like what do you feel if you urinate.
• Ummm... like you don't have to pee anymore???
  
• I'm guessing.
  
• I could be wrong ;)
• I cannot figure out why the thing.i.hate.! is the thing that will keep my kids happy and quiet for HOURS???
  
• They love mud.
  
• The dirty kind.
• They love it so much that I'm aboutthiscloseto grabbing a handful and taking it to Sherwin Williams to get matching paint.
  
• Speaking of dirty things...
• Yesterday I spent most of the day unplugged because I decided it would be a great idea to open up my mouse and clean it.
  
• And then it quit working.
• Next time I am SO anal retentive feel the need to take things APART to clean dirt that you can't even see I'm going to tell Martha to just.shut.up! and I'm leaving it dirty.
  
• Potty training tip ~ if you toss a Cheerio into the toilet after you flush it every time the next time a boy ... any boy... uses it... he WILL aim.
  
• Doesn't matter how old they are. There's just something about peeing on a cheerio. It is impossible for them NOT to.
  
• Idk why cause I'm not *equipped to stand and aim but... it is a Proven Fact.
• Last night one of Our Favorite Neighborhood Strays was hangin out in the man.cave. and I was just sitting out there listening to their nonsense conversation and the whole time I was thinking... Dude! I am SO glad I don't have a penis.

"Speak softly and carry a big stick; you will go far" Theodore Roosevelt

Doesn't that just.rock.?

And because his awesomeness does not end there, here are a few more...

• "It is no use to preach to [children] if you do not act decently yourself."

• "For unflagging interest and enjoyment, a household of children, if things go reasonably well, certainly makes all other forms of success and achievement lose their importance by comparison."

• "I never keep boys waiting. It's a hard trial for a boy to wait."

• "The one thing I want to leave my children is an honorable name." "It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed."

• Be practical as well as generous in your ideals. Keep your eyes on the stars, but remember to keep your feet on the ground."

• "I have a perfect horror of words that are not backed up by deeds."

• "The worst of all fears is the fear of living."

• "There is not a man of us who does not at times need a helping hand to be stretched out to him, and then shame upon him who will not stretch out the helping hand to his brother."

• "Don't hit at all if you can help it; don't hit a man if you can possibly avoid it; but if you do hit him, put him to sleep."

• "Alone of human beings the good and wise mother stands on a plane of equal honor with the bravest soldier; for she has gladly gone down to the brink of the chasm of darkness to bring back the children in whose hands rests the future of the years. "