I am one voice.

A Very Ordinary voice.

A voice crying out in the wilderness. 

A woman's voice.

I am Eve. I am Ruth. I am Hanna. I am a stranger in a foreign land. I am Esther. I am Rebecca. I am Sarah. I am Josea's Wife. I am Solomon's Bride. I am The Virtuous Wife. I am Mary. I am Martha. I am The Woman At The Well. I am your mother, your sister, your daughter...  I am Heather Denise:):)

Fearfully and wonderfully made..... For better or worse;)

And FINALLY, I'm ohkayy with being just that:D:D

I am every woman that you've ever known. And I'm every woman that you've never known. And I want what all women want.

I want someone to look at me and not just see two eyes, a nose, a mouth and two ears. But to see all that I am And Could Be. All my hopes, loves and fears.

To hear and know my heart.

Because... To be known is to be loved and to be loved is to be known.
Otherwise... What's the point of doing either one of them in the first place... ?

So this is my voice.

The voice of my heart.

A heart that seeks after His<3

Otherwise what's the point in doing either of them in the first place... ?

I've been having some sucky wife moments lately.

Quite a few of them.

Okay. ALOT of them actually.

I need to change some things. Mostly some attitudes that I have towards my husband based on different things in our past.

Things I had supposedly LET GO of but obviously not since I've also still been holding them against him and sometimes even throwing them up in his face.

Not so much out loud but definitely in my head.

Last night i was thinking about marriage and the different roles and responsibilities we each have in our marriage.

Adam's *punishment in the whole Fall.Of.Man. incident was to have to LABOR, which is something my husband has struggled with for a looong time. Not so much that he minda working, just that he wanted to do what HE wanted to do, HIS way, which was not so much conducive to... having a stable income.

Eve's punishment was, and I quote "with pain you will give birth to children. Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you."

So I sucked up the pain pretty gracefully.

The desire came easily and naturally. At one time in a completely UNHEALTHY way where my desperation for my husband ranked MUCH higher than my desperation for my CREATOR at which point I was taught a lesson about that in such a way that my entire life completely imploded, exploded and pretty much fell apart before my very eyes. I was crushed and shattered and ...broken. Very very broken. (Thankfully I was also picked up and pieced back together and made much much stronger.) But that experience was SO extreme that I will NEVER forget it and make that mistake again.

Tha last part though...

He will RULE OVER YOU.

Well... I just kinda skipped it

Because that is a tough.pill.to.swallow. Atleast for me.

I like the part that says "Understand and support your husband in ways that show your support for Christ" better because that makes it much easier to justify MY opinions. As in "Well, I don't think Christ would support that SO I don't have to SUBMIT.

Because YUCK! I don't like that word and all that it implies. I submit in theory but NOT in my Spirit and my Heart and my Mind where it actually counts. I submit PHYSICALLY but only when I feel like it's something I should submit to or if I think he deserves it. And even then it's more likely than not that I'm doing it with the attitude of "I'm only doing this because I WANT to and YOU should feel SO thankful to have a wife who submits.

YAY! Lucky him!!!

Not a whole lot of submission for a *submissive wife is it??? Kinda defeats the whole purpose.

When I saw this study on an awesomely inspiring friends blog a while back part of me was like "OH! I need this!!!!" and another part (the more dominant one at the time) was like "WHAT.EV.ER."

Now I've come back to it AGAIN! Because I'm slow that way and didn't take the hint the first time.

And I'm just gonna DO IT!

So Pray For Me!

Pray very very hard ;) Read the full story

Thankfully. I think the.day.from.Hell was like some weird 24hour bug or something because I have been ON it and totally rocked today!

See... proof! Facebook does not lie ;)

Heather Sluss it's 1pm. house is spotless, laundry washing, baby sleeping & kiddos quiet??? i think i'm living someone elses life today. i like it ;)

'bout one turn o' yer hourglass ago squawked from Twitter · Weigh in · Arrr, This be pleasin' to me eye. Care not fer such trifles ·
Spy what them scurvy dogs be sayin' (5)Stow Them Responses (5)


Just so you know this is an exceptional day.

Most of the time Sometimes I have a really really hard time getting everything done. Especially since summer vaK started. I have been SO off this summer.

I think it's starting to make me insaaaaaane.

I'm having withdrawals from Routines and Schedules and Lists.

What happened to my organized self???

I feel like I've been making just enough effort to get by. Not enough to be *excellent.
Or even really good. Just enough... and sometimes... barely that.

Not that I'm just sitting here doing nothing. I'm still busy.

But more like AutoPilot busy.

I've been struggling with wondering wtheck happened to the passion I had.

Sometimes I get So tired of trying to be a good wife.

I mean that literally. Some days it.is.exhausting. Physically. Mentally. Spiritually. Emotionally.

And I just want to be D.O.N.E.
Not Foooorrrr-eeeevvv-eerrrrr
Or even for a long time.
Just for a little while.

I don't know if it's the nature of being an excellent wife in general that I'm having such a hard time with or specifically trying to be an excellent wife to my husband.
Cause he does NOT always make it easy.

I'm thinking I just must not be too good at this whole wife thing if I'm constantly having to work SO hard at it.

It should be easy sometimes right?
Right???

P.s WOOOHOOOOO Women of Faith ... 2 WHOLE days awaaaayyyyy ~ in 6 days :)

I've been racking my brain and cannot find a way to make what I have to say even the least bit witty or inspiring. So I'm just going to tell ya'll and move on. Thanks for all of the happy encouraging comments on the ummmm post.

Unfortunately, it wasn't meant to be. I don't want to have a tearfest. I did that already. Yesterday morning when I woke up and realized what was happening. I got back in bed. Pulled the covers over my head. And proclaimed to J that nothing could make me get out of bed. And God quickly prompted me to remember that my son's best friend's mom was going to church with us. For the first time. And that nagging little thought would not leave my brain. So I got up. And life goes on.

If I weren't So freakin intuitive and didn't KNOW my body as well as I do, I wouldn't have even realized it. I would have passed it off as late and heavy. So, is ignorance bliss? In this case I would have to say yes! Unequivocally yes.

The thing that really gets me, is that I was *quite content without a 'Thing 6'. Until there was one. And the second I realized it, the desire of my heart changed completely. Now I want a Thing 6. And it's not there anymore. So what was the point?

I'm straight though. It's all good. I know there is a plan. But I didn't get the memo yet, so I admit I am absolutely clueless as to what the actual plan is. But really, how is that part different from any other day. Read the full story

Apparently the visitor will be delayed by about 9+ months. And Thing 6 IS in the works. Atleast, according to EPT....

You know that 1 nerve that we all have. Yes, the last 1. As in "You are getting on my last nerve!" How do you really know it's the last one? What if there are more, secret nerves that come out to replace all of the ones that you've lost. And where exactly do all of those nerves go?

I have been on my last nerve for days now. If, in fact it is the very last one. It's frazzled and frayed and falling apart. And there are these things hanging from it...as in Thing 1 and Thing 2 and Thing 3 and Thing 4 and not~so~much Thing 5 but *most definently the biggest Thing of them all. I think they think it's a tight rope or something b/c they're doing tricks on it. Pulling it down. Yanking on it and bouncing on top of it. I'm afraid it's going to snap, and they're all going to fall down.

It's not thier fault really. They are just doing what they were designed to do ~ kinda like monkeys in the zoo, hanging around doing odd monkey~things.

But I have been waiting for a visitor...who seems to have bailed. Maybe it's lost with all of those nerves. But this is a very important visitor. You know the one that we all dread each month until it doesn't show up. Ya that's the one. Have you seen it? Did it stop by to visit you first? If you do see it, please send it my way.

I'm freaking out here. Just a little. Can you tell? I can't help it. Everywhere I go it's babies and more babies. Or women who are about to have babies. What if it's in the water? I should stop drinking water. Don't get me wrong. I love babies. I'm very very prone to getting 'baby fever'. That's why we have 5 already. But I'm trying NOT to get baby fever 'cause Thing 5 just turned 1 yr and it's about that time.....lol. But right now ALL I can think of are all the reasons that it would NOT be good timing.

Are you listening God? We have NO room. And I don't mean no room as in, "We could rearrange if we had to." I mean we have no room as in, we were buying a house that fell through and ended up in a 34ft Rv. With 5 kids. SO either send 'the visitor' or send a house. And if You want ... I could use some more nerves too. Because as You read above, I'm down to my last 1. Read the full story